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Poems and other Scribblings
"Balogne Sandwiches at 6am"
Well the other night, or was it early
mornin', I was bein' chased by space aliens.
You know the ones with flashin' red and
blue lights in black and white cars. They
abducted me and made me walk straight
lines, recite the alphabet backwards,
touch my nose with my eyes closed and
hop up and down on one leg. It was all
very amusin', but the best part of the
adventure were the:
that they served me at 6 A.M.
Now I don't know what's in those baloney
sandwiches, but there must be somethin'.
Cause after eaten just one, why you'll
think: " Well maybe I should stop tryin' ta
catch the moon in my rocketship and take
a taxi next time." and after two, you'll know
to avoid those space aliens with flashin'
red and blue lights who want ta make
ya touch your nose, walk straight lines,
and recite the alphabet backwards.
Now I don't think anyone ever survives
three encounters with the space aliens,
but I never want to eat baloney sandwiches
at 6 A.M. ever again. They are nasty and
cost a lot too!!!
" THE ONE THAT'S NORMAL "
THE STORY OF ELLEN SQUIDMORE:
THE ONE THAT'S " NORMAL " AND
HOW NORMAL CAME TO BE.
Well, one day 'bout midnight, just
after we had all discovered the inner
meaning of reality, well, we all were
hang' out with Queen Jane, Stanly O.
and Mr. Cheese just trippin' on the moon
beams in the rainbow, when we decided
to eat dinner over at Allanadancic
Pishofficula's house. ( We all call her
Ellen, on account of who can say
Allonadansic Pishofficula). So , we rode
over to Ellen's on our Harlies and
Mopeds across the Swamp of Broken
Dreams and arrived at Ellen's house just
too early for yesterday and too late
Ellen was real glad to see us, on
account of the cats were chasing the
moon and the rug rats were all out of hand.
Now, Ellen, as you might guess, was
not from the good ol' U.S.A. and did
not speak English real well. She invited
us in and offered us the last of the
calamari magic mushroom omelettes
that she had made for dinner.
When we had woofed down one of
those each, she asked,
So, we all realized that she was
" ELLEN S Q U I D M O R E ",
and that she was
' the one that's normal'
and that we
were all weird.
Ellen Squidmore has 2.3 children,
1.4 bathrooms, 1.6 husbands,
drives .65 of a car that is .4 Ford, .2 German
and . 3 Japanese. In short, your average
average normal norm.. She is divorced
from Norm and married to Al.. That
is why she is normal and that's how
"normal "came to be.
He hath quoted the Raven times.